"talking back"

I'm sure all of us have heard, "stop talking back" at some point in our lives. Since my teens I've always found this term annoying and misleading. 

As a mother now my daughter does get rude, disrespectful, & ugly, but I wouldn't say she "talks back". 

She says "no","don't want to", "stop it", and yes she does say it in response to me but again I qualify that as what I listed above. 

(This all applies to what I am about to talk about)

I've been really up front with my husband in that I won't get mad at Dahlia or Emery for questioning me, which may sound off for a parent but I want them to ask why. I feel like to often kids are told "because I said so" and that to me has never been a great reason. With that logic I feel I am teaching my child to be submissive and to take what everyone says at face value. I also incorporate explanations into discipline, I want my kids to know why they get in trouble/ and why I do certain things that there are valid reasons behind it.

            Ex: Dahlia doesn't want to hold my hand in a parking lot and throws a fit, 
               my response is to tell her "If you don't hold my hand you could get hurt"

My expectations and reasoning are put in the open. 

I feel like "talking back" is code for making the parent have to think to much or a parent being frustrated things are not going perfect on their end of a discussion. Because honestly that's what it is, a discussion between two human beings. Just because they are my children and they are younger I want to show them how an adult handles situations not just say "Because I'm your mother and I said so, stop talking back to me" (which sounds like "stop trying to have a conversation with me".) Personally if I could I would erase the term talking back from the parental vocabulary. 

If there is a good reason behind something, a child/person asking why, or challenging it shouldn't be a problem & as adults we shouldn't have a phobia of admitting we made a mistake to our kids.(Ex. "I never thought about it from that point of view, lets try it your way this time") Plus it's easy to justify things to kids (whether you feel you need to or not) when you have legit reasoning and I bet 9 out of 10 times kids will respect a parent more for listening than punishing them for having a voice. You wouldn't tell a co-worker, friend, or spouse to stop talking back to you, so why do it to your kids or family??

-end rant-