The always almost boyfriend

 I'm assuming there are quite a few girls who will understand what I'm talking about. That one guy in your life that you could be with but it never seems to be the right time, there is always a reason why it can't happen. Marshall , would be my always almost boyfriend.
We met through a mutual friend, he actually picked me up and took me home when my ride bailed & I was basically stranded. [Nice guy points!] After that we talked on and off on AIM, we actually were friends for awhile before anything else came up. 
 I always had a boyfriend, and he wasn't the guy to go after a taken girl. Which is kind of nice. I guess one day it just clicked that I was interested in him. Which eventually lead to us hooking up on and off. I was obsessed, I didn't realize it at the time though.
 He was older, I was going through some rough stuff at home and he always seemed to be who I would call. 
  It was like that for awhile, then it just stopped. After that it became very obvious that every time he had a girlfriend we would stop talking. Once he told me it was because he didn't trust himself with me. Like he was guaranteed to slip up if I was around. Probably a good mind set because I wouldn't have been the best at keeping him faithful. 
 I can remember a specific conversation, one that was more serious than the rest. Granted we were texting, but he was being more serious. Like after I graduated we might have a real shot. I wonder why I didn't say yes sometimes. What was going thorough my head at that exact moment? Previously, I would have done anything for him to talk to me that way. I didn't know it then but I know it now, I loved him. It's strange how that worked out it. Again with the horrible timing. Maybe a part of me knew it wasn't right? Maybe it should have all worked out but I ruined it. Who knows. I have so many  memories with him  though, most that I'd like to keep just for me.