Daze

Waking up to stand over the sink
My body heaving nothing into the drain
Catching glances of sad eyes in the mirror.
I want to reach across the bed and tug at your arm, I feel sick.
You would tiredly wrap me up muttering something about going to sleep.
Your side is taken up by a blonde little girl who wouldn't understand.
So I just lay awake hoping it passes soon.
For every moment of calm there's a flash of pain like my brain is remembering you're gone.
I want to talk to my best friend because everything hurts but I guess that's part of the problem.
So I just carry around the pain.
Force the smiles,  saves the tears for my drive home.
This is getting by.