boom

 I just laid Emery down in her bed, in her room, for the first time since we brought her home. Time to get all emotional cos' my kids are growing up to fast. That feels strange. I'm twenty one. A year ago today I was in a totally different state of mind, a different place. I'm still growing up, and experiencing new things and getting hurt and falling apart and building myself up all over again. It's strange to think at the exact same time I am raising two girls, and everyone in the world is living their lives just like I am. How do we do that? We are all going through something and living like we aren't.When we aren't going through anything, we're looking for our next problem. I think people have an auto pilot built right into our brains. We subconsciously don't break down constantly because our instincts just won't let us.  AS USUAL, netflix, there's a movie called Visioneers, it's quirky but has a lot of good points.  These people are terrified of breaking down, being stressed out, being upset at all, because here's the best part if they let it happen, they explode. Ok maybe I'm morbid my interest in that. I mean really though, do you remember the last time you just were so upset you threw something? or smashed a frame? It helps. When you hold it all in..you want to explode. UGH, it's a good movie. watch it. understand where I'm coming from.