I hate getting older and feeling disappointed in the people you thought you knew. My entire life I have taken on a lot of criticism and lost quite a few friends because I feel the need to talk things out until I feel it's been resolved. Apparently that isn't what most people like to do, and most people don't like to use logic, reason, or acknowledge facts. Which is weird to me. I understand going off emotion but when you tell me I'm wrong and I can prove I'm not....well damn I don't see the argument anymore. I can argue all day, but it doesn't mean I enjoy it. I wouldn't waste my breath arguing if I see that someone has a valid point or we can leave it in the middle.
That being said right now I feel that my relationships with a handful of people are not in place. We are either fighting about nothing, not speaking, barely speaking, or the friendship ended but not on clear terms. Things like this bother me and I think about them often because there has been no closure, like I lost my book on the last page. I hate thinking that I just don't have to energy or motivation to approach these people because I'm tired of having doors shut in my face. I love talking, listening, and having people I can really share with but the fear of dishonesty, judgment, and abandonment are very much a shadow over me at this point in my life.
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