After all this time it still amazes me how I know what I want to say but when the time comes I stumble over words and over think. Maybe it's because I know it's important or I just let myself go. For the most part I feel that my entire existence is a risk, everyday I make decisions that impact my life in several ways. I wonder how I used to go all in on things and for people when now, so much thought goes into so many of the same choices. What if everything was all in? I think it would be chaotic, but certain parts would have to be beautiful. I still can't say I would be able to accomplish something so unknown but it's nice to think I could give someone myself again after everything that's happened, to know that I have that ability. I'm not broken or used up. If anything I've upgraded, I know what I need and what I can give. & knowing is half the battle from what I hear.
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