When you imagine one person leaving another one it's dramatic like in the movies. There's this grand fall out, two people falling out of love together ironically. In reality it's not a smooth process, you aren't free for a long time. I believe it's comparable to being handcuffed to the exterior of a house that is on fire. You'll eventually get away but you'll have some burns and lung damage if you don't let the flames consume you. At first you might believe you are free from the other persons bad choices, in fact you are now impacted by them times 100. Having to wonder if someone has been in a wreck, if they've been arrested, or if they just ended up going home with questionable people is a hassle. When someone doesn't care about themselves but still has two small people that look up to them, who still need them in such a significant way, that is more painful than being left.
I would do anything for my kids, I am trying to take the necessary steps to be independent for my kids so they don't go without. Up until now I have been staying as positive as possible that things might change and that they would have what they needed even if it wasn't perfect, because there would still be two of us trying. It may have sunk in that most likely, two will really be one and it will be me. Work, school, two beautiful girls, and me.
When I type them out it doesn't seem like much but the reality is weighing in on me and I'm scared. I've tried really hard to keep myself together, but I am scared.
I just want a normal life, and for my kids to have a normal life.
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